"The Puking Bride"    [ 09 ]   
 :: Print this page ::
Sept 2015
 cat hurl
 cat hurl

Once in a while I stumble across a story destined to be passed along through my website. This is one of the best I've heard in a long time. Our pastor included it as part of his sermon a few weeks ago, excerpted from the book "The Life You've Always Wanted" by John Ortberg.

Every time I call it to mind I start chuckling all over again, but also remember the incredible, wonderful truths found amid all the mess . . .

 cilpart bride
The Puking Bride

It takes a certain kind of heroism to continue to celebrate what deserves to be celebrated even when all the details go disastrously wrong. A favorite story of mine expressing this kind of spirit is told by Robert Fulghum, about a wedding that was produced on an epic scale by an unhinged character known only as the Mother of the Bride (MOTB). The logistics-from an eighteen-piece brass-and-wind ensemble to gift registries spreading across most of the continental United States to twenty-four bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower-petal-throwers, and ringbearers - were of a scale usually seen only during the military invasion of a sizable country. But the plans were all working-until the climactic moment of the processional:

Ah, the bride. She had been dressed for hours if not days. No adrenaline was left in her body. Left alone with her father in the reception hall of the church while the march of the maidens went on and on, she had walked along the tables laden with gourmet goodies and absentmindedly sampled first the little pink and yellow and green mints. Then she picked through the silver bowls of mixed nuts and ate the pecans. Followed by a cheeseball or two, some black olives, a handful of glazed almonds, a little sausage with a frilly toothpick stuck in it, a couple of shrimps blanketed in bacon, and a cracker piled with liver pate. To wash this down - a glass of pink champagne. Her father gave it to her. To calm her nerves.

What you noticed as the bride stood in the doorway was not her dress, but her face. White. For what was coming down the aisle was a living grenade with the pin pulled out.

The bride threw up.

Just as she walked by her mother.

And by "threw up," I don't mean a polite little ladylike urp into her handkerchief.

She puked.

There's just no nice word for it. I mean, she hosed the front of the chancel - hitting two bridesmaids, the groom, a ringbearer, and me. . . .

Only two people were seen smiling. One was the mother of the groom. And the other was the father of the bride.

Fulghum explains how they pulled themselves together for a much quieter, gentler ceremony in the reception hall. And how "everybody cried, as people are supposed to do at weddings, mostly because the groom held the bride in his arms through the whole ceremony. And no groom ever kissed a bride more tenderly than he."

But the best part of the story is that, ten years later, everybody was invited back for another party to celebrate this disaster. They watched the whole thing on three TV sets-the MOTB had had three video cameras going at once during the wedding. And this party was thrown by the Mother of the Bride herself.

How could all these people rejoice when everything had gone wrong? Because, in spite of all the mess, the bride still got the groom. At the end of the day, that was all that mattered.

The bride got the groom!

This is such a delightful picture of how the Church, called the "bride of Christ" in the Bible, is loved so tenderly and richly by the Bridegroom, Jesus Christ Himself, despite all of our horrible self-inflicted sinful mess! The Bible clearly states that our attempts in achieving holiness are like filthy rags at best (see Isaiah 64:6) ~ our greatest human strivings toward righteous living can only color our natural wretched state in different shades of gross! This is precisely why we need Him to help us, clean us up, and love us in spite of ourselves. While this story does not reflect the genuine need for proper repentance when turning to the Lord, it * does * describe the end result for ALL who trust in the love, holiness, and righteousness of Christ to save us from ourselves! (see Acts 2:21 & Romans 10:13)

Ultimately, this is a beautiful picture of Redemption through the untarnished Love of the Bridegroom!

Super Cool!

(2015)  10